Taking Over … a.k.a. cutting ties with the pounds

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I just got back from vacation with my family. While in the Caribbean my family had formal portraits on the beach taken. I was the beached whale.

When I was younger, and really until just before having my child, I was the smallest in the family. My waistline always was or appeared to be small in comparison to my family members. That isn’t the case anymore. My sister recently lost more than 100 lbs with the help of a Minneapolis-based program called Slimgenics. My mother and best friend lost weight the same way. All the while I’ve put on more than 40 lbs since getting married in 2010 and having a child in 2012.

Things that used to be easy for me have now become difficult daily tasks. Climbing the stairs takes the breath out of my lungs, tying my shoes is a challenge because folding my body in half to reach the laces feels impossible, and don’t even get me started with normal bathroom/shower/hair/makeup tasks — all of them make me want to cry.

On top of the fact that my eating habits mimic those of my two-year-old, I’ve added desk-job to my resume and find myself staring at a computer screen and sitting static for 8+ hours each day. Every wonderful change in my life has helped to add pounds to my body, and I wouldn’t change anything in my recent history, but now I’m ready to shed the weight and keep moving forward.

I’ve tried a lot of different programs in the past including Nutrisystem, the online version of SlimGenics, Weight Watchers and my own program focusing on using the mobile app LoseIt. Between WeightWatchers and LoseIt I was able to lose 40+ pounds before my 2010 wedding. I felt beautiful in my wedding dress, and I want more than anything at this moment to look in the mirror and feel beautiful again.

When my dad showed me the pictures that we took on the beach I was horrified at what I saw because I was in denial about just how much weight I had put on and what it had done to my appearance. It wasn’t me that I was looking at anymore, but instead it was someone without self-control and lacking self-respect. More than how I view myself, I’ve realized with absolute certainty that if I can’t respect myself because of how I am right now, then how will my daughter respect me as she grows up. How will she learn to grab grapes before she grabs a Snickers or asks for a home-cooked meal before a Happy Meal at McDonalds if I don’t do those things myself?

So, it was while I was on the vacation that I made the decision to change. I know I can’t change overnight, but I am taking steps to change for the better. I’ve re-signed up for WeightWatchers online and ordered myself a FitBit so I can getter a better picture of just how active (or inactive) I am each day. I also started this blog. When I lost weight before I blogged about it and it really helped me to stay accountable because people were reading about my progress, asking questions and encouraging me. So here I go and wish me luck!

MY STATS:

30 yrs old, female, married with one child

248 lbs on 3/18/14 with a BMI of 40

First goal: 20 reach 225 lbs (lose 23 lbs) by June 1.